#720 Beautiful Trauma..


You messed up.  You really blew it.  Your partner is giving you heck about it, seething with disappointment and hurt.  Guilt washes over you, as your conscious mind reminds you that you didn’t keep your word or your end of the bargain.  You think to yourself, So what’s the big deal anyway? Get over it!”  


How many times have you said that to yourself?? 

If you sometimes feel like it’s easier to put your head in the sand and go passive, defend yourself, or dismiss or deny your partner’s perspective when you screw up, you are not alone. What more does your partner want from you anyway?  You said you were sorry and that should be enough. Now we can move on, right? Nope. 

Your partner wants you to really understand how your blunder affected them. If you understand, and can even offer some empathetic words, it opens up the possibility for your partner to feel soothed, calmer, and more connected to you. It can also help him or her let go of the pain that your blunder caused.  

When in a relationship, you both are coming from different upbringings, different perspectives, and different parents. You have your own thoughts and when coming together sometimes there are moments like this above. 

You both need to recognize that you both are different, there may be days like the above, and other days smooth sailing. This means asking them questions in a non-defensive manner, so that you can better understand the situation. Only then can a true apology be made. 

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